Life Is Good

Just thinking today that there are few things greater or few feelings more fulfilling than that of being in community.

It is SUCH an honor to meet and genuinely get to know new people.

I think about this a lot.

Perhaps because I'm the new girl in this town and I have been blessed beyond measure to have been welcomed with open arms by so many.

It truly is what I love about life. Relationship is all that matters. In the end, all we take with us is our relationships with one another and our relationship to God (provided you believe).

That's it.

So, what a privilege to be given access to the hearts of others.

What an honor to have them interested in knowing mine.

Life is good today.

Bah Humbug!

Our traditional, all-family Christmas Eve festivities have been cancelled due to weather. This is the first time in our history this has happened. Weather, SCHMEATHER! I'm ticked.

Of course I want everyone safe on the roads.

Of course I don't want to put anyone in jeopardy.

But I'm bummed not to see all 40+ in my extended family. More this year than ever because I now live in another state...and won't get to see them all again for another year.

I'll get over it but for this minute, I'm wearing my cranky pants.

Merry Christmas

(100,000) Miles of Echo

My car turned 100,000 on Sunday! In fact, it blew right through it and now sits at 100,250 and going strong. There are few things I get as much pleasure out of than watch the odometer turn milestones, something I blame completely on my dad. In honor of this latest one, I thought it would be fun to recount some of the memories I've had with my little Roller Skate over the last 5 years.

I purchased it in Sept '05 in Omaha. My friend, Annalea, flew to Omaha to road trip it back to Chicago with me. This was an appropriate way to christen the vehicle as it has become my little road trip warrior, effortlessly cruising the interstates of America at 40+ mpg, her fuel efficiency has enabled a generally low-earner to travel the country in affordable, reliable fashion.

Within a month, she was broken into. This was the year I had a car broken into 4 times. It became quite a joke with my roommate at the time in Chicago as the perpetrators somehow managed to ONLY steal crap. I had a broken cd player, a box of goodwill donations, a shovel, a scraper and my FLOOR MATS stolen that year. It wasn't until the Echo got back to Omaha that something of value was taken (my new stereo). that's what you get for trusting the suburbs.

Chicago, Omaha, Chicago, Chicago, Omaha, Des Moines, Omaha, Chicago, Denver, Minneapolis, Chicago, Omaha, Kansas City, Kansas City, Omaha, Chicago, Kansas City, Sioux City. Apparently, I need to get out of the midwest. I claimed near duel-residency between Omaha and Chicago for 6 years and the 7.5 hour commute became a breeze. Tanks to the fuel efficiency stated above and a lot of bladder training, I became the master of turning that drive into a one-stop only trip!

I dated long-distance for the better part of a year and the roller skate took me back and forth to my Kansas City fella. We would meet in Craig, MO (it really doesn't get more exciting), take trips to rock climb in Arkansas and Missouri and camp out illegally in the park (shh). Many of these adventures were made possible thanks to the Echo. In fact, I doubt the relationship would've lasted as long if I would've had to pay more to get back and forth to him.

My ride has ONE hubcap as the rest have all rolled off the wheels at different points. I guess they didn't fit right. It is also missing a side mirror as a *friendly* neighbor decided it needed a bat to it. My mechanic tried to reattach it with electrical tape because I was too cheap to have it actually fixed. A day later, I watched it slowly fall down toward the side of the car before plummeting to it's demise in the middle of traffic. I am still too cheap to replace it.

Bracco came home in this car! One of the greatest gifts I've been given is my pup. But you all know that already! He loves car rides...he attacks animal statues and oncoming traffic from the car. I now laugh a lot harder, more often on road trips when he's in his back seat. He has, in his protective behavior, managed to scratch up my dash board, leave a think blanket of hair on the back seat and a LOT of nose prints on the windows.

Most recently, my car managed to take on all of my earthly possessions and bring me out to Colorado. Here we're trudging through deep snow, muddy gravel roads and dodging flying rocks on the pass. Her windshield is cracked in FOUR(!!) places and, despite fancy new snow tires, is still sans hubcaps. My car has taken me into new towns and discovered hiking trails. Her plates are now green, rather than blue.

A lot of miles (although still surprisingly lower than the national average...i bought it at 48k), a lot of memories. I plan to drive her into the ground. Perhaps this summer we'll see Utah, Wyoming or Montana. Tomorrow we drive BACK to Omaha for Christmas. While there are days I dream about owning a sweet vintage truck with a topper (although my eco-conscience would never allow for it), I love my little roller skate.

Top Ten Concerts

Recently I was involved in an email exchange on the topic of "Best Concerts Seen." The friend I was exchanging with sent his list to me as a Top Ten (in order to cut it off somewhere) and I replied with mine.
I am a music lover. It sounds kind of weird to say that because I don't know many people who don't love music...but I REALLY love music. I love it live, in the car, in the shower, and even on occasion, lying on the floor in the dark (yeah, i know). It's always exciting when I find people who share my appreciation for great tunes and/or have similar taste. There have, honestly, not been too many of these people in my life. It is pretty common to think I have discovered the END ALL, BE ALL of current artists only to discover I am alone in my affection for them.

So, I charge you with the question: What is the BEST live show you've seen and why?

Here is my (veeerrry abridged version) list of the top ten I've seen....

1. Sigur Ros: A band from Iceland, I was introduced to them by a friend in Chicago, who I'll mention in number two. The night of this concert, Omaha was under a tornado warning and I was in the basement, not checking the weather, but the status of the concert. My friend, Rachel picked me up in a torrential downpour and we took the chance. We were in luck! Game On! To me, Sigur Ros is the epitome of God's music. It is the soundtrack I believe He would pick to life. In that they are Icelandic, I can't understand a word, which in turn, demonstrates the true power in their music. It is the soundtrack to a sunrise, what you would feel standing atop a mountain and the sound of wind blowing through a valley. Seeing them live was very emotional. There's nothing pretentious about their shows, no pomp and circumstance. Just music.

2. Sigur Ros again: One of the few friends I truly share my appreciation for music with is Paul. I've known him for a decade and he may be the only other person I've met who understands why some music MUST be listened to in the dark, preferably lying on the floor. I flew back to Chicago for ONE night...to see Sigur Ros with Paul. Sixth row, center, Chicago Theater with the only other person who gets Sigur Ros the way I do.

3. John Mayer: I know, I know. The first time I saw him, before he was anything big, was an outdoor concert at City Market (not the grocery store but the town square) in Kansas City. I came by way of road trip with friends on a hot and muggy August evening. Guster opened, which left me with no complaints. Now, say what you will about John, but that man plays a mean guitar. He also manages to write songs that frequently resonate with seasons of my life. "Today I finally overcame trying to fit the world inside a picture frame." I saw him two other times, in large indoor arenas...neither matched that first experience.

4. Rilo Kiley: You may remember Jenny Lewis from the Nickelodeon show "Salute Your Shorts." Well, she's grown into an edgy, soulful singer who plays solo, as part of Rilo Kiley, with the Watson Twins and as one half of the one album electronic wonder that was the Postal Service. I saw her as Rilo Kiley at an incredible venue in Omaha, called the Slowdown. Slowdown was started by the founders of Saddle Creek Records, an Omaha label. It's intimate, has phenomenal acoustics and has my favorite local beer on tap. She was great!

5. Whoever that band was at Tour de Fat last year: This is going to hit on two of the greatest things about live music: dancing and a killer horn section. I have NO IDEA who they were but they played that incredible New Orleans/Cajun jazz and the dancing, OH the dancing!! Barefoot in the grass for hours on end with a thousand of your closest friends in costume. And, of course, the New Belgium beer a-flowing. There are few times I've had that much fun at a concert.

6. Barenaked Ladies: I saw them as part of a 3 concerts/3 cities/3 days tour with a friend. I had won tickets on the radio and we drove to Sioux City, IA to see them. While I might be tempted to scream if I hear the Million Dollar song again, I'd be remiss not to mention their live performance. Even if it was a little prop heavy for my liking. And- it was free. You can't argue with free.

7. David Gray: Again, the Chicago Theater allowed for an intimate performance.Mr. Gray is just one of those performers who women swoon over and men want to be. Hearing David Gray sing live is like having Morgan Freeman read you a bedtime story.

8. Simon and Garfunkel: I grew up listening to S&G, along with Cat Stevens, Gordon Lightfoot, James Taylor, Neil Diamond etc. One year, as a combined Father's Day/Birthday gift to my dad, I took him to see S&G in Omaha. They were wonderful, although there was something off-putting about seeing them in an indoor arena called the Qwest Center. What was really special about that concert was going with my dad and enjoying the music together. It was a special night to spend with him.

9. Xavier Rudd: And thus will commence the "Aussie Breakup" portion of my list. A one-man band, Xavier plays the drums, didgeridoo, guitar etc etc with incredible passion. He's a true hippie who's lyrics ofter center around our relationship to each other as much as to the environment. I first saw him the night of a breakup...yep, we broke up AT the concert (it was a mutual breakup but breakups are always sad and I'm emotional). I cried the whole time. I cried and danced.

10. Missy Higgins: She really just made me angry. I find it completely unfair that women that small can have voices that big. In all honesty, what hits me most about Missy is not necessarily her sound (I swear one of her songs might have been a Noxema commercial), but the time it hit me. Again, after a breakup...YIKES, this is an interesting trend...I felt she sang love and loss beautifully. And in a venue like Slowdown, it was very personal for that season.

6 Little Babies, 1 Giant Blessing

The thought of meeting people on the internet is ominous. I've heard countless horror stories (mostly from the fear-mongering media) about how that "friend" you meet might be a serial killer or a con artist. In my experience, however, I've NEVER met anyone crazy online despite my best efforts. On the contrary, I've only ever met incredible people online...real people.

Example: I was short on cash after college and found someone on craigslist to Ride Share to Chicago. Me, a young, single post-grad, I thought my mom was going to kill me. I picked him up in Des Moines, IA and by the time we got to Chicago, we were great friends, jokingly referring to ourselves as "Harry" and "Sally." To this day, we keep in touch.

I know quite a few people who've met great boyfriends/girlfriends/fiancees online...although I still can't fully give in to it.

In the last 3 years, I've had a pretty great run finding employers online. Not necessarily my full-time gigs but my side jobs. I have found three INCREDIBLE families to do some occasional babysitting for. Having recently just found the third in my run, I've been reflecting on my shear luck in meeting some of the coolest kids/parents out there.

The first, right after I moved back to Omaha, was a military family. Dad traveled a lot and mom just needed some "sanity" time. Thanks to our mutually flexible schedules, I watched their very sweet one-year-old for a little over a year. They included me in birthday parties and genuinely cared about me as much as I did them. I was SO bummed when they moved to PA but it led me back to craigslist and to...

The TRIPLETS! Two girls and a boy, these three were attached to mom's hip and never left one another's side. When they cried, they all cried...thankfully, it was more amusing than frustrating as they got on their hands and knees and rocked back and forth, completely synchronized. They loved to giggle and play outside (woohoo!). It was always so nice when mom came home...so we could have a glass of wine. On several occasions, I stayed longer talking with mom and dad than I had actually been watching their children. This time, I moved. Again, looking for just enough extra income to cover my "fun money," I went back online, where I found...

the social ski bums! They found themselves renting a home in Winter Park in order to "get a life." Dad, the hard-working professional and mom, the hard-working stay-at-home mom, they needed a place to run away to find freedom and fun. They loved my interest in staying active with their children and I loved their laid-back, trusting attitude toward me. The first afternoon I babysat, they came home and offered me a glass of wine. 3 bottles and 8 hours later, I finally left, completely in love with them (and for those of you who know me...it wasn't just because of the alcohol)! They are generous beyond belief and last night, for Thanksgiving, treated me to a lavish dinner at the Lodge at Sun Spot (at the top of Winter Park resort). Before I left, dad said "Jessie, you're family so I hope you know we expect you to spend holidays with us if you're not at home." You have no idea how nice this was to hear. They are the beginning of my Winter Park community (well, outside of my place of employment) and you know, I already consider them to be my family too.

I have been so blessed to find such wonderful people! Families who allow me into their lives, include me in making family decisions, confide in me and with whom I will gladly do the same. Last night, on Thanksgiving, I was reminded of how fortunate I've been in this area of my life and how randomly our blessings find their way to us. Even through the ominous internet.

I'd post pics, but I kinda have a thing about positing pics of other people's kids online...the internet's scary, you know! :)

Trust

Why is it so difficult NOT to trust? How do I continue to trust despite being burned? I wonder how many opportunities for trust will I allow in my life before walking away from a person...a place? I will trust my climbing harness with my life but if I were to fall out of it, I can guarantee I would never put it on again. And yet, I often allow repeated hurt and sorrow into my life, despite frequent disappointment and I am frustrated that I continue to trust. Particularly with repeat offenders. I am allowing all kinds of toxicity into my life.

Yesterday was a highly disappointing day. I felt attacked from every direction. I spent the night awake and frustrated.

I felt taken advantage of by a coworker

...misled used and disregarded by a friend

...disappointed in a family member

I felt like a fool, a complete idiot for trusting.

I recognize this is a complete "Debbie Downer" post and in the end, despite all of my complaining, I know I will inevitably trust all of these people again. I know I shouldn't and I will. Unsure why, I will continue to rely on people who prove to be unreliable. I'm wondering when I will learn my lesson, knowing that...

perhaps the real issue is that I don't trust....myself.

You Gotta Serve Somebody

"Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody."

Cruising through my Ipod in the car yesterday, this song by Bob Dylan came on and I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about it's lyrics since. It's not a complicated song. In fact, it mostly lists off various occupations and the choice of anyone in those positions to serve. State trooper, construction worker, rock n roll addict etc. I guess it's the simplicity of the song that catches my attention, even if it does get a little repetitive at times. It's so easy to think of my life as being pretty wholesome, that I'm a "good girl" and don't do a lot that hurts people. This song reminds me that I'm wrong.

Every day is a series of choices.

Every conversation, every action and interaction is a statement.

Who do I serve?

Last week I had the privilege to sit in on a meeting of coworkers. This group's goal is to make our staff feel loved, respected and valued. They write thank you notes and bake cookies, all of which are delivered anonymously. Every year, they plan a Thanksgiving Dinner and Christmas Party for our seasonal and international staff, who don't get to go home for the holidays.

The staff Thanksgiving Dinner was held last night and 80 people came out to celebrate together. My co-worker, Marie, and I volunteered to be on dish duty. Selfishly, it was because they had previously been planning on using disposable dishes and, as a member of the Green Team, was bummed out about it. I told them if they used REAL plates, I'd wash them. :) What I found was that busing tables for those I work with was SO fun. I was able to interact, even if just for a moment, with every single attendee. I was able to smile and happily take their dirty plates as their Tryptophan comas set in. I cleared the plates of my boss and of the kids who clean my office (to clarify, they're not actual kids, they're 20). It was incredible and people were surprised that we had volunteered to do the dirty work.

It was an incredibly meaningful experience for me. So meaningful, in fact, that I am starting today with a renewed attitude of service. I am walking out to work, wondering what I can do for others today. Cognizant of the choices I will make in service.

It may be the devil or it may be the Lord but you're gonna have to serve somebody.