Trust

Why is it so difficult NOT to trust? How do I continue to trust despite being burned? I wonder how many opportunities for trust will I allow in my life before walking away from a person...a place? I will trust my climbing harness with my life but if I were to fall out of it, I can guarantee I would never put it on again. And yet, I often allow repeated hurt and sorrow into my life, despite frequent disappointment and I am frustrated that I continue to trust. Particularly with repeat offenders. I am allowing all kinds of toxicity into my life.

Yesterday was a highly disappointing day. I felt attacked from every direction. I spent the night awake and frustrated.

I felt taken advantage of by a coworker

...misled used and disregarded by a friend

...disappointed in a family member

I felt like a fool, a complete idiot for trusting.

I recognize this is a complete "Debbie Downer" post and in the end, despite all of my complaining, I know I will inevitably trust all of these people again. I know I shouldn't and I will. Unsure why, I will continue to rely on people who prove to be unreliable. I'm wondering when I will learn my lesson, knowing that...

perhaps the real issue is that I don't trust....myself.